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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up without much family nearby. My parents seemed to be the only ones in their families who ever left their states. My grandma did move to live near us when I was in ES so we had her. Every few years we'd take a big trip to visit our relatives in the midwest (Dad's family) and east coast (Mom's family). The trips weren't frequent but they were special to us and we still felt a strong relationship with these cousins. My parents encouraged it by having xmas gift exchanges between us and our closest-age cousins on dad's side and my sister and I were pen pals with closest-age cousins on Mom's side. My parents seemed to visit their siblings more often once they were empty nesters and they had the time + $$ for more frequent plane trips.

I would have loved to grow up with more regular engagement with my cousins but as an adult I also liked my life/job here too much to move near my sister to get that for my kids. My siblings and I all followed our parents model and now live in 3 different cities. Fortunately my parents moved near my sister when they retired and she and I have similar-age kids. So I made visiting my parents/sister every summer a priority. Occasionally we'd also go during winter or spring break. This does mean we've sacrificed travel to a wider variety of places. We only have so much vacation time. We usually do a 1-week non-family trip per year.  It got harder as our kids got older and they'd get a bit bored with just going to the grandparents. Plus my brother had younger kids and we couldn't all be at my parents' at the same time. So we started an annual trip with a big house rental and we pick a different place every year. So we get good hang-out time together and get to see a wider variety of destinations. It has been great and even now that the oldest grandkids are in college they prioritize that week.

No, it's not the same as being in each others' daily lives but it is possible to feel close to the relatives you can only see a couple times a year. But it takes initiative from multiple people. It's not the grandparents' job to do that. For our big annual house rental that's usually decided among my siblings (either my sister or I does the vrbo research). My parents are happy to go wherever we will be.

I didn't mention DH's family because we are basically not part of their lives. His parents have died and his brother/SIL are pretty uninterested in having a relationship. We see them at Thanksgiving mainly because I take the initiative to contact SIL and let her know we are coming. It's unfortunate since they live just a few hours away but it is what it is. [/quote]

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