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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No I can’t relocate. I have a husband and three kids. Before my mother moved into the assisted living place she lived about 30 minutes away in traffic. Now it is 10 minutes away from me. It’s been 4 years and every year I grow more resentful. I have a good relationship with my brother and am friendly but not close to my sister. I have tried to explain the stress but they just say they are appreciative but are too busy to visit. As I pull back I am envisioning that the relationship with my siblings is going to suffer because I am going to end up looking like a jerk.[/quote]

They don't need to visit. They need to manage bills and legal affairs from a distance. You need to stop answering calls. And no whining, just statements: "I can't visit that often, because caregiving is burning me out". Repeat as needed.[/quote]

I agree.  They don't need to visit.  Figure out which tasks can be done remote and see if you can hire someone to do some of the local tasks.  [/quote]

+1. Be aggressive about telling doctors, "Call this number and talk to Larla."

[b]Tell your bother, "I am mailing you the bills that needs to be paid. Take control of the accounts." Who is the POA?[/b]

Tell your mother "I have an appointment, here is the number to a taxi company."

If you can't move and can't move your mother, then you have to draw you boundary and stick to it. Nothing more or less.

Also, don't let others shame you over wanting the burden to be equal even though your mother did not raise you equally. They are just going through each thread and insulting the OPs. This is called "having a backbone" and "not letting people who disrespected you your whole life walk all over you."[/quote]

Have you had a lot of luck in your life instructing others in how to do things?  [/quote]

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