Reply to S/o how did you know SAH in your twenties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a bread-winning mom and had to attend daycare more than 40 hours a week since infancy. My mom could never come to elementary classes parties or chaperone field trips. I was so jealous of classmates who had their moms pick them up from school, while I had to attend aftercare. And mor often than not, the daycare ladies were disengaged and mean.

I never wanted that for my kids, and always knew I’d only be a mom if I could stay at home with them when they were young. [/quote]

Curious on whether you and your mom have ever discussed this and her reaction?[/quote]

We’ve discussed a little. My dad was very caring but never could hold a job, and she was bored to tears the few months she tried to stay home after my oldest sibling was born. She was involved in our childhoods, which were great in most ways, but the reality was with two working parents [b]we spent our early years in daycares[/b]. It’s just not the same as your own mother, or family, caring for you. I know my mom did what was right for herself and her family, but I just wanted a different way.

My DH had a SAHM who went back to teaching when he was in middle school, so he was always supportive of me being home with our young kids. [/quote]

I’m surprised you remember all this. I’ve brought up the daycare (and later preschool) my DS attended from 1-4 (and then he was at home b/c of COVID shut downs at age 4). He’s 8 now and seems to have no memory of any of it and in fact barely even remembers virtual kindergarten. Maybe it has to do with how long the hours are? Or maybe my kid has a terrible memory (to be fair he can barely remember what he ate the day before). [/quote]

Yea I had to re-read that part as well. Maybe some people remember how preschool was, but I seriously doubt infants from 0-3 ish (daycare years) can recall that their caregivers 'seemed disengaged compared to my parents' or 'were mean' unless it is about a single seriously traumatic event or such. The part about being sad not seeing your parents at school events or being in summer camp all the time, I do understand and my guess is that it re-enforced pp's preference of staying at home with her kids, hence projecting over to her dislike of daycare from an adult's perspective.[/quote]

I stopped working when my son was 4. He is 12 now. He still remembers hating nap time at daycare and I remember all the days he cried when I dropped him off when I went to work. I think both he and I were traumatized by the whole experience.

I have some friends who show tough love. They have had some horrible nanny and daycare issues but they just got through it. [/quote]

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