Reply to Working Parents Who Aren’t Tired — Tell us your schedule or secret sauce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hmmm I feel like the responses here aren’t particularly helpful for your situation. Some posters are answering your question - ie spilling their “secrets” - but if their secret is only having one kid, I don’t see how that helps you.

Other PPs are critiquing your day, like the meal stuff, which might be helpful to you, but sometimes life is what it is. If you really can’t get around making 3 meals a night, you know what you have to do - either simplify it enough where it’s not a burden (microwaveable meals, kids make their own meal, whatever) or outsource to a paid person.

I have four kids and am early-mid 40s. I’d say my energy level is where yours is.

Some suggestions -

I am comfortable saying no. Saying no to my kids, to the PTA, to other moms. It sucks to not be able to do “all the things” but I just don’t have the bandwidth.

In the past we have hired college aged folks to help us logistically get kids to and from sports / activities. We also pick sports and activities that are nearby and easy to manage.

I wish we ate better but we don’t. I have stopped worrying if my kid occasionally has cereal or waffles for dinner.  I have a picky eater who eats more chicken nuggets than I ever have. The kids go to a school that has a wide variety to healthy lunch options, so I know they do get some healthy stuff in every day.

My kids are younger than yours but they go to bed at 730. That lets me have some “me time” at night, where I can workout or, more realistically, snuggle up with DH and watch a show. 
[/quote]

If you are getting home around 530/6 and kids are in bed by 730 — when do you see them? [/quote]

Here’s a general outline for our family - and please don’t think I’m saying this is “right”, I don’t judge anyone by how much/little time they spend with their kids!

For weekdays -

My husband’s job is typically 8-6, M-F. He works outside the home. Luckily he is an early riser - by 6 AM.

Kids get up around 6 or 630 and leave for school at 8. They get home at 4.

So for my husband, he usually gets his quality time in with the kids early (say 6-645 AM, before they need to get ready for the day) and maybe 1 hour at night.

My schedule is much more erratic. If I’m rested (or need to get stuff done!), I’ll get up at 6 so I have 2 hours with the kids in the AM (some true quality time - cuddling, talking, reading; some of that time is getting ready for the day). Other days I’ll get up at 7 or even 730 (!) and barely give them a kiss before they leave for school.

In general I get 4-730 with the kids but sometimes I have calls, emails, etc. Sometimes I have to work after they go to bed. Sometimes I work a few hours on Saturday morning while my husband does something with the kids.

I’m also the parent who does all the kid appointments, anything school related, etc… so yeah my schedule varies quite a bit![/quote]

So you get by on 6 hours a sleep at night? We need 7 so that is what I think my spouse is keying into.

Our teen does cook herself, like make salads and such, and tween is great with eggs. But they are messier than an adult, and not intentionally— they enjoy cooking.  But a lot of oversight.  Like the time the teen stuck the hand blender motor into a smoothie Without the blade attached (ruined the motor) or they made soup but simmered it away and it caught fire when you opened the lid.

Kids helping takes time to be “less work”[/quote]

So true on kids “helping”!

I’d say I get anywhere between 6 and 8 hours each night. DH is usually in bed by 9 so he gets a solid 9 some nights!!

Honestly there are nights when I’ve had to do with a few hours sleep. It is what it is.

Some favorites -

My daughter wanted ME to make her birthday cake. Not store bought, she was very specific (her friends mom is an excellent baker so I think there was some jealousy there). I had zero experience baking / decorating cake and couldn’t even start until like 11
PM due to a full work plate. Stayed up until like 2 am on this darn cake. She was really happy though.

Sometimes when I get behind at work because of kid stuff, I catch up late at night. But, I don’t want to send the emails at 1 AM because I don’t want colleagues thinking I can’t handle it / I’m suffering / whatever. So I’ll draft the emails at 1 AM and then schedule them to be sent at like 730 AM, so I look like I have it all together. :)[/quote]

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