Reply to How to broach this issue with rich friend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP the dynamic is this: You think your friend should have no problems because she is suddenly rich.

Your friend is not understanding why you don't care about her country club politics.

There is a middle ground, and neither of you have it on your radar or any natural inclinations toward the middle ground in regard to this subject. Maybe neither of you care to see the middle ground, maybe you both just want to be heard. Or maybe both.

And that is fine - But it means acting like friends, and giving each other equal air time.

I know rich people that are great listeners, and poor people that are terrible listeners, and you can't get a word in edgewise.  And vice versa.

The issue is that you don't want to be on the defensive because your friend is rich - because then, it looks like you are jealous (whether or not you are).

As for the person who brought up someone's mother dying - you are absolutely hopeless if you can not bring yourself to be helpful when your "friend's" mother (or father) dies.  You are not a friend, at all.

It's like the friend with the A+ students (intrinsically, with literally no tutors - because their parents are smart) and the other friend with the kids who are good athletes (because their parents are good athletes). One doesn't have to resent the other, if you are true friends.

Or maybe just stick to people more in your situation, whatever that situation might be - if that is the only way you will find peace, but that is not a realistic expectation of friendship.[/quote]

NP here. I am the new rich friend. I didn’t necessarily have a windfall but my DH earns a few million per year. I stopped working when my third was born and then Covid happened so have been a SAHM.

I am in my mid forties and this seems like a strange time for friendships. Many of my friends are going through some sort of hardship whether it be financial, teen mental health, children with special needs, marital problems, etc.

I try to be a good friend and not talk about money. I do like to travel and used to think this was common light conversation. Over the years, I have learned vacation can be a huge point of contention in families and people indeed get jealous of travel.

Everyone has different problems. Almost every single mom friend has been complaining about work from home disappearing. How could she possibly commute to work and take Johnny to soccer after school? I had one friend be upset because her new boss was keeping tabs on her when she worked from home. She used to work out, go to kid stuff, run errands, get nails done, etc. with no one checking up on her and now her boss will occasionally call her during working hours and wonder where she is. Some friends had parents pass recently. Others have parents with health problems. It just feels like a not so great time In everyone’s life. [/quote]

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