Reply to How to pull away from a friend who only talks about herself, her kids, etc.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if you don't enjoy spending time with her then don't. But a lot of people don't want to pry, so it's on you to mention that you have a sister. If she listens when you talk, then I don't see the problem. If she immediately turns every topic back to herself, then that's a problem.[/quote]

I forgot to mention that you're completely jealous though. You're only upset about her talking about good things in her life. You're not complaining about her droning on and on about her sick cat.[/quote]

Except it sounds like, from OP's description of this woman, that she doesn't go on and on about her sick cat. She only boasts. People who walk around boasting all the time, or one-upping people constantly, inspire jealousy because they like it. Well it worked! OP is jealous, but also doesn't want to be around this woman who makes her feel jealous all the time, which is a healthy approach to the problem from OP.

"You sound jealous" isn't the insult some of you think it is. Sure, sometimes people get jealous. And OP's response is "how do I withdraw from this relationship that isn't serving my mental health." You aren't required to stay friends with someone who is constantly trying to get you to feel jealous out of some weird social obligation. You can just move on and hang out with people who don't view life as a giant competition all the time.[/quote]

PP here. We agree that OP should stop hanging out with her if she doesn't enjoy it. But someone talking about positive things in her life isn't necessarily boasting. We don't know how the conversation truly went. It's not an insult to say OP is jealous, but she should own it. It's ok to say I'm jealous AND I don't like hanging out with this person. OP doesn't even need a good reason. Just not enjoying it is enough. But stop attacking the friend for not knowing that OP has a sister. That's on OP. Now OP is jealous and nitpicking the friend to create a justification to stop hanging out with her. That's really crappy. OP should just own the facts and stop seeing her friend without trumping up charges.[/quote]

I mean, OP says she boasts so I assume she boasts. What she describes (telling someone that her DH makes tons of money, for instance, or talking an excessive amount about vacations and kids' achievements) sounds like boasting to me. At a minimum, it sounds like the friend lacks self-awareness and is overly focused on herself.

I always find it strange when people come on this anonymous website, read a paragraph or two about someone's relationship with another person, and then thinks they know the "real" truth. Just take stuff at face value on here, it makes it easier. OP says her friend is boastful and rarely asks about OP or listens when OP is talking about her life. I just assume that is an accurate assessment of the situation and advise from there because anything else is pointless guesswork.[/quote]

Well, OP isn't being honest about her jealousy or her own role in not mentioning that she has a sister, then OP is really reaching to vilify her friend. She's looking for any excuse to make this about a bad friend, so she doesn't have to admit that she's jealous.[/quote]

Again, a bunch of assumptions here. How do you know OP never mentioned her sister before? If it bothered OP that the friend didn't know she had a sister, I would assume she'd mentioned her in the past. Also, we don't know anything about OP's own life. Why would you assume she was jealous when you don't even know what's going on in OP's life. I have a great life and am not jealous of any of my friends, but what OP describes would annoy me. For instance, if a friend went on and on about how much her husband made, I'd rapidly grow tired of that because who cares? That's such a dumb and boring topic of conversation. I wouldn't think "oh no, does my DH measure up?!" I just don't care how much my friend's husbands make.

I think YOU are looking for any excuse to make this about OP being jealous. I don't really get why, but you're the one fixated on this.[/quote]

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