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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone is telling you it’s PPD and it’s brain chemistry.  I understand why.

There’s also the chance that you’re simply very unhappy because of a terrible situation.  A lot of women dislike having a baby but it’s not socially acceptable to share this.  You destroyed your body, can’t go to work, aren’t sleeping well or at all, can’t go to social functions etc…of course you’re unhappy!  It’s a major life change and isn’t necessarily a chemical imbalance.

Regardless get help.  But not just for PPD. Try to find a sitter, night nurse, anyone who can give you a break, even if it’s short.  Even just going for a manicure or a coffee will help your mood.  Try to start exercising with the baby as that can help and is a break from holding the baby.  Also babies cry and make sure putting the baby down in a safe place even if the baby cries.  [/quote]

I very very very much second this comment. I had (have, but it’s better) a hellaciously bad sleeper and went for months surviving on 1-2 hours broken sleep a night. I loved her but thought about harming my newborn and myself every night. This started when she hit the 4 month sleep regression and never slept again so it wasn’t even hormonal PPD because my hormones had already stabilized. My therapist said I was having a normal reaction to the incredible stress of getting no sleep and having a very high needs baby.

Get help, OP. Night nurses are a godsend and you should hire one tomorrow if sleep isn’t going well. Get time off during the day, too, even if you just use it to sit and do nothing. PPD is real but sometimes having a baby is just unexpectedly hard.[/quote]

What in the what. No, it is not normal to hate your baby. I had a super rough time with sleep in the beginning to the point where I was so exhausted I was sobbing hysterically in the shower very morning and hearing things that weren’t there. I was never less than 100% obsessed with my baby and never dreamed of harming him.

If you are having these thoughts and feelings, it is not normal. It is a symptom of ppd. We should not normalize this. I am so glad OP is getting help, please stop trying to make hating and wanting to harm your own baby out to be normal. It is not. [/quote]

Please stop.  Not all women love being a mom and having a baby.  They just don’t.  [/quote]

This!!! It's a huge secret!!![/quote]

It really isn't. I know a very slim minority have a lot of incentive to try to convince themselves this is true, but it isn't. If you are having these feelings you likely have PPD and should tell someone and get help, like OP has very admirably done. [/quote]

Only women would be told they have a chemical imbalance because they are unhappy they were given a sack of potatoes they can’t leave, forced to quit their job, have 30 pounds to lose, can’t socialize with friends, have something attached to their boob all day and are bleeding for six weeks straight.

[/quote]

+1  for some newborns are amazing, for others it’s an awful phase to get through to build your fam.  If men disengage (in their often minor role in this phase) people say “oh a lot of men just aren’t into the newborn phase but he will be a great dad when they can play sports together”.  But sleep deprived women are all supposed to feel warm fuzzies? No - it’s awful, it’s ok to feel it’s awful, it’s ok to feel rage.  It’s obviously not ok to harm the baby - but people (even women!) can both feel like dropping a baby that’s screaming at them for 19 hours a day and still not even once come close to doing it!

No one is saying that if you’re suffering your shouldn’t get help and everyone is saying if there a risk of harming yourself of the baby, that is an emergency situation to get help.  But to act like a woman is crazy for feeling angry and miserable is just bullshit.  Especially when it’s their first and they don’t have the perspective that they haven’t ruined their life, this phase will pass, and their screaming sack of potatoes won’t always be a screaming sack of potatoes.[/quote]

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