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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a village. It’s not family, it’s friends and neighbors with similar age kids. I help them and they help us, it’s rare but we know we are there for each other.
Last week during a storm my kid (11) was at the pool and they closed for thunder. I wasn’t there, a friend of mine brought her home, that’s being a village…. [/quote]

The Village has to be reciprocal, OP - otherwise it is just “using someone”, which does happen. [/quote]

I have been the friend who got used in this way and it's demoralizing. And also made me less willing to offer my time when people need it, because it's so draining to be generous with your time and energy only to have people totally disappear when you need help.

I think that's one of the big obstacles to forming a village. You need mutual buy in and reciprocity, and I think there are more people today who are happy to take and not to give, and that in turns leads to people like me, who have to learn to give less just for our own sanity.[/quote]

Whoah! Holy score keeping! Nothing about the pool example implies it was not reciprocal. And to another poster, people don’t have to watch your kid during work hours to make it a “village”. The pool example was a perfect village example to me.

I live in a neighborhood with lots of families with elementary age kids. I have both been the mom who got the text “pool closing for thunder, I’ll bring Larlo to my house. Let me know if he can stay and play or if you want to come get him”. I have also been the mom sending that text. It’s not being an emergency contact who has to be contacted by the pool staff when they can’t get ahold of a parent. It’s knowing  your neighbors and their kids well enough that 
1. You know the parent is ok with their kid being in your car or in your home
2. You have contact information for the parent readily available 
3. You see a situation and know that it’s ok to step in and “parent” the other person’s child instead of calling them and asking what to do.

The people on here with no village are probably the same people in the real estate forum who scoff at the idea or are actively hostile at the idea of socializing with neighbors. I am not besties with every mom for a 3 block radius, but if I was stuck in traffic or if Metro broke down, I have 5 or more people I can text to ask if they can pick up my kid at school. I work from home across the street from school most of the time and those same people know that if their kid was sick at school and they were an hour away, that I would pick up the kid and comfort them until they got home. I walk kids to school with mine when other people have early meetings. I stop to help a kid with a skinned knee who fell off their bike 3 blocks from home. Having a village and being a village is about the kids in the neighborhood knowing I’m “Larlo’s Mom” and that I’m a safe person to ask for help. [/quote]

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