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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a village. One friend worked really hard to cultivate it and now it’s a group of families who are truly always there for each other. We text each other throughout the week. Celebrate each others successes, cry together, watch each other kids; now that they’re older, the kids wander in and out of each others houses. The kids are very much like cousins and I have a group of women (and their husbands) that I know I can call on at any minute. I am very lucky but to my first point, it takes hard work to get there. You can do it too. [/quote]

NP - I had this and was the person who cultivated it.  It's hard work AND a lot of luck: people you like that much in close proximity, adults who all get along decently and have similar flexibility, no one moving away (which is what happened to my "village"), etc.  Not everyone can do it, frankly, for lacking the neighbors or the skills to cultivate or whatever.  Cherish every moment of it when you do have it.[/quote]

+1 to the luck part. A fellow mom and I cultivated this in our neighborhood when our kids were babies and it was great for about a year. Then the pandemic hit, people locked down, several families moved away, everything fell apart. I'm still friends with the one friend I helped organize this with, but she no longer lives nearby. I am in touch with a couple of the others, one is close but is moving soon, the other lives across town. We met when our kids were babies, they are all 5/6 years old now. Everyone was well intentioned, it just couldn't withstand outside factors.

I've notice that our neighborhood has become much more transient in recent years since Covid, actually, which works against this. I feel like every week I learn about a new neighbor who is moving elsewhere for a job or more space or different school opportunities. There was some of that before but it's ramped up a lot and now I feel like building a village is so unlikely. My kid's "best friend" at school the last three years running has moved away each time. She handles it great, but man it's hard to start back up with new families each year trying to build connections.

I think I'm just burned out on community building at this point. I built my village, it fell apart, I feel too tired to try and do it again.[/quote]

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