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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think he has autism with comorbid personality issues, anxiety, and auditory processing. It just gets worse with age and that’s what you are noticing. Like how people get dementia when they are older. It means his brain will never be neurotypical and you will beat yourself up trying to make situations go as planned. The loopholes is a strong trait of someone with high anxiety and depression. The person who said to make things light and turn it into fun is spot on. It will help both you and him have a better relationship if you find the loopholes and just move on and make each blunder a positive. Because of the disorder they are very sensitive to criticism. It’s immaturity but there isn’t Anything you can do about it other than to just go along with the blunder. People like this can be very loyal but they will not tolerate criticism. You don’t have to accept it’s correct. You just have to work with what happened in a pleasant way. [/quote]

This and the comment below it about autism are probably accurate and I’m feeling such sorrow now.

At one point years ago I thought that my DH’s quickness to snap at me and lack of energy for family life might be depression and somehow convinced him to talk to his doctor about it. She diagnosed him with depression and prescribed antidepressants, which sat on our counter untouched and eventually disappeared. When I made the mistake of asking why he’d never taken any of them, he again blew up at me and said “I can’t take any more medication! How many more things am I supposed to have wrong with me?”. (He was on ADD meds and allergy medication at the time). He couldn’t see that he might feel better if he took the medication, only that the diagnosis itself was something to be defensive about and to deflect. I stopped bringing it up but have always wondered if treating what might be depression would have improved our relationship. Now I can see that even his reaction to the diagnosis/medication suggests issues. -OP[/quote]

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