Reply to Are some people just cheerful, or is she being fake?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people need to stop calling others fake. It takes so much energy and effort to put on an act, PP. 99.99% of people aren't going to do that. They might exaggerate part of their personality for the workplace if they find it works for them... but it's not fake in the sense that they already have tendencies to be that way naturally.[/quote]

I would have to fake it. That's why I worried.[/quote]

You "would have", so you wouldn't actually fake it, because it's too much work. And why do you need to worry, even if she's putting on act? This is just a transaction, OP. You're not seeking a life partner here. Why are you expending this much mind space on your contractor's personality? You look like the weird one, here, not her.

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I am worried I won't get honest feedback from someone who might not be honest with her personality. [/quote]

[b]She will give you honest feedback, but if she's usually very positive, bear in mind that she might couch criticism so constructively that you will have to pay attention to what she wants you to change.[/b]

My kids have had music teachers and academic tutors like this. They've learned to listen and pay attention to what actually needs to change, even when it's delivered like this, I kid you not: "Wow! This was very very good! Really very very very very very very good! Now if I can just hear that again, with a tiny bit more vibrato on the E string and articulation at the end of the phrase! But otherwise you did such a wonderful job!...!!!" (Large smile, sparkling eyes, all friendship and enthusiasm). Some people are like that. 
[/quote]

This is fair (and your example is exactly what she's like). Thanks.[/quote]

It’s called “sandwiching”, I have a friend that does this.[/quote]

Sandwiching is SO obvious. We know you're only praising to get to the criticsm. [/quote]

No, there’s usually something good and bad worth noting. [b]If the bread/compliments start to be things like, “I like your shirt,” or “your good eye didn’t creep me out while you were talking,” they might be stretching for a compliment.[/b] Otherwise, just roll with it and take the compliments at face value and work on improving whatever was criticized. [/quote]

This is usually how they go.[/quote]

I love your honesty and clarity. It sounds like you might have some work to do if your experience is that others find it difficult to compliment the work you’ve done. But it’s great that you were able to communicate so well. I feel like I really understood what your sentence meant. [/quote]

At least I'm not a hateful witch.[/quote]

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