Reply to Weekend Vacation While Divorcing?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Weekend Vacation While Divorcing?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn’t ask for the divorce but completely agree with it. I am worried about the financial fallout but I feel much less anxiety and less walking on eggshells and less waiting for my spouse to blow up. Kids have no idea we are splitting up (although my oldest elementary kid has brought it up probably sensing the tension). Sometimes we get along great. Sometimes it’s just managing the passive aggressive comments, yelling, or bodily nervousness. I would love to have a good coparenting relationship where we can still do things together as a family-holidays, birthdays, dinners, vacations. We are in the beginning stages of divorce and so won’t tell kids for a while since we are still living together.  [/quote]

So he is leaving you. I am sorry. The sooner you accept you are not together, the better it will be. You don’t do family holidays together. This is not how it works.

Sounds like you want to keep everything the same as if you are still a family.[/quote]

You can't divorce away the fact that you are both parents of your kids. [/quote]

Not PP, but I agree. Even though ex and I are divorced, and we do not vacation together-we are still Mom and Dad and our kids are our family. Just because we aren't married to each other, doesn't change that. Families come in many forms as we know.[/quote]

Of course you are still mom and dad. I guess it is possible. I just don’t know any divorced couples who spend holidays, vacations and birthdays together. Almost every divorced couple we know has one person move on rather quickly. It isn’t like both mutually just decided one day to break up the family. One party wants to date or leave the other. Or there is abuse or they just can’t stand one another.

It is never really truly mutual. Same as any breakup. One party usually wants to stay together and one party wants to break up.[/quote]

I am divorced; I don’t know anyone divorced who moved on quickly. At all. Maybe you are young. Divorced in 40s there is not much moving on. It is getting the kids raised but not having to be married. I can stomach kids birthdays and dinners and a beach trip because I am not married and it is a few days a year vs every day of my life. Some people get along much better divorced because they no longer have to be married to the person. [/quote]

Pp here. I am 45 so not younger than you. Not sure what you consider moving on. [b]I think every divorce has at least one party dating almost immediately since they were already separated. Some may have already been dating while separated.[/b] It isn’t like they are getting married immediately after but they are going on dates, having sex, have girlfriends and romantically involved. I don’t know if it makes a difference but our friends are all attractive and successful. DH’s divorced friends do especially well since they are good looking, rich and successful. They date hot women almost immediately, go on trips with them. Two friends got married. One had another kid and got divorced after a year. Other one who remarried seems happy.

One couple who didn’t move on are unhappy people. They were unhappy together and unhappy separately. The husband speaks very poorly of wife and I know sleeps around on tinder on his weeks without kids.[/quote]

PP here. I do not know a single divorce like this. Not one. So, your idea that you think “every divorce” is like this is dead wrong.

The divorces I know, including mine, no one wants a serious relationship or boyfriend or girlfriend. Casual dating only. And after a divorce! Not during separation. No mixing money or remarriage or confusing kids with other relationships. I am also 45. Everyone has elementary kids that I know—married and divorced. Kids first. I know zero divorces like you describe. [/quote]

Do you participate in online dating? I do and there are a ton of men on there, separated or divorced, who are dating a ton. I also have friends who’ve gotten married to men who were within a year of divorce or separation when they met.

I personally only date men who have been divorced at least a year because I find many post divorced men are in the “post divorce slutty stage” and I want no part of that. I also want men who’ve had to learn how to take care of their kids on their own rather than shifting it onto a stepmom just after divorce. But I think a lot of them move on from that stage after about a year and get into serious relationships, including marriage.

The reality is marriage is usually a pretty good deal for men and many of the want a new one when their wives divorce them[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics