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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who your spouse is hasn’t changed.  They are just now diagnosed and can learn a little more about themselves and receive treatment.

Whether or not your marriage survives kind of depends.  Borderlines typically marry narcissists. It’s likely that as your spouse gets more mentally healthy and their self esteem improves, they won’t put up with your crap anymore.  You will both have to change for the arraign to work.  
[/quote]

?? what? no, borderlines marry people who will tolerate their sh*t. the opposite of a narcissist. a partner to a borderline is much more likely to be passive and codependent, taken in by the borderline’s strong personality when it’s a positive, and then willing to subsume themselves to avoid triggering the borderline’s bad side. another pairing that works is a very emotionally obtuse man who just doesn’t care about the borderline’s antics (and lets the borderline wreak havoc on kids/stepkids/ILs.)

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I don’t know what to tell you.  Borderline/narcissist is a classic pairing.

This is a good description of why:
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/01/borderline.html
[/quote]

Checks out for me -- my mother had BPD and married a narcissist (my stepdad). It was a pretty horrible situation to grow up in. [/quote]

I actually dug up some research on this. Compared to controls, male partners of BPD women had higher neuroticism levels and lower testosterone. Narcissistic trait differences were apparently not statistically significant.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10045094/[/quote]

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