Reply to How do you drop the rope when you have SN kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]Stuff I have given up:

- by third grade, I do NOTHING at school. No field trips, sending in carrot sticks for parties, staffing a dumb party etc. Only thing I go for is if he’s presenting something.

- we have a housecleaner every two weeks. Other than bare minimum wiping the counters in the kitchen every few days, neither of us do any cleaning between visits. I do tidy daily though (I don’t like stuff around the house).

- we only had one kid.

- I have never done anything that’s in my husbands bucket (cards for family, etc) even before we have kids I had no interest in being his mom.

I work 50+ hours a week in a fairly prestigious and demanding job, and I like to be the one who oversees DS. I want to coordinate therapy, do pick up and drop off every day etc. So I voluntarily do a lot more than DH. But he handles most grocery shopping and cooking (both of which he loves to do - sometimes I wish he’d be more keep-it-simple-stupid about it), we split laundry, he handles bill pay and monitoring our retirement planning. He handles the occasional appt when I have a conflict. But I have always been a minimalist on therapies, and even with my job, I feel this is all manageable for me to handle the bulk of (albeit very busy).

Next year (sixth grade) we’ve decided to hire a teenager from his school to handle after school - who will spend thirty mins a day overseeing his homework (his school has bonkers quantities of homework - I found it very stressful to oversee it all, even if it wasn’t hard work), and take him to some weekday extracurriculars. Because that’s actually one thing we’ve dropped that I don’t think is fair to DS- because dh and I both work so much, and ds is indifferent to doing after school stuff, we haven’t pushed it. Other than some low key at-school stuff like chess club. But I think he’s missing out on opportunities because of it, and has pretty low resilience for inconvenience, so I’m going to outsource for someone else to do it. Otherwise, me and his dad will cut too many corners (between homework and extracurricular). Like another poster, we live in the south, and there seem to be lots of HS students happy to get these well paying gigs for two hours a night. [/quote]

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