Reply to Anyone's teen DD's (esp. 16 and up) just not interested in dating?

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Reply to "Anyone's teen DD's (esp. 16 and up) just not interested in dating?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a lot of thoughts on this. I'm someone who was like this at your daughters age. I went on a few dates in high school because I got set up by friends, and because I think I felt like I was supposed to date. The only sort of relationship I had I completely ghosted the boy (luckily from another school) because I did not want what he did, and because I was overwhelmed by his enthusiasm that wasn't shared LOL.

I'm perfectly normal and started dating like gangbusters in college. I'd be worried if my kids was one of these in college not dating at all (some of these comments state that) but at 16, not at all.

Now, I have a 15 year old and her and her friends are constantly in the dating loop, or "talking" loop, with boys. And yes its so much drama, all of the time. Its tiresome. I suspect they kind of enjoy that part (dopamine hit?). However, mine didn't start any of this until high school, even though many of her peers were doing this in middle school. What I noticed was that the first relationship often takes a long time to happen, and then once it does, they end up dating people pretty consistently after that.

I think that anything one does for the first time is intimidating, and then once they don't have so much anxiety about going on a date, or kissing or whatever, its a lot easier to keep doing it. My daughter always had crushes, never told me about them until much later, and I think had a lot of anxiety and self doubt about boys.

I also think that dating was more common when we were young because we had to do everything in person, and couldn't get our dopamine hits/ego boosts on a phone like these kids. I also think that for poised, mature girls, they don't want boys their own age. It used to be pretty common for girls I knew at age 15 to date seniors (who, lets face it, are probably more on par maturity wise), and it was accepted. Now, I hear a lot about a stigma to dating anyone more than a grade up or down from you, so this doesn't really happen so much, so the pool of interesting guys is a lot smaller.

I will add for the record, that I was pro high school dating until about a week ago, when my daughters very positive 6 month stint boyfriend broke her heart into a million pieces, and now I'm seeing the fall out and having some regrets about not reigning this more. Teen boys are super immature. These intense relationships at this age are heartbreaking, I would prefer to see more casual dating happen. It was hard to watch.[/quote]

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