Reply to Would you miss either of these events for a girls weekend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It depends.

If I had a girls weekend scheduled in Europe, with a group of people, and we'd all agreed on a date, and then we find a sleep away camp that my kid wants to go to and it turns out the first day is when I'm away, absolutely I would miss it. My husband can handle something like that. Backing out of a trip like that for that reason after a weekend has been chosen is crappy.

If my friends and I are trying to schedule a weekend away, I would definitely lead with those dates not being good for me. BUT if it's like 10 people, you're going to have to be flexible to make it happen. People are going to have immovable commitments, and there's only so many weekends. I would sacrifice either of these to make that trip happen if it was the only option ASSUMING these are friends that are important to me and I want to go.

It's also okay to say (internally) "yes, this trip will be fun if it fits in my schedule, but at this stage in my life, I'm not willing to miss any even somewhat important kid things," provide the weekends that work for you, and if they don't work for others, say "I'm bummed to miss it, but my calendar is tight this year. You guys should go and have a great time, take lots of pictures for me."[/quote]

Op - no we haven’t booked it yet, i said those weekends are an issue for me but apparently they are best for others [/quote]

PP here. Okay. The first thing I'd do is dig in on "best for others" - if this is a large group and there are really immovable things, that's one thing. If other weekends are potentially workable for others, just not "best" then I'd probably push back. Might be easiest to do this on a group call.

But you may need to decide how much you're willing to sacrifice for this girls trip. That's a very personal decision. If you would rather make this girls trip work, do it. That doesn't make you a bad mom, it's one weekend. If you would rather be there for camp and your kid's birthday, do it. That doesn't make you a bad friend, it's one trip.

What I would NOT do is cave to peer pressure in either direction. If you want to go on the trip but think "good moms" are here for these kinds of things, that's ridiculous, go on the trip. If you want to be at the kid events but your friends are really pushing you, tell them no and hold firm. You know what's best for you and your family. [/quote]

Op - tbh I’m a little bummed about the ‘this is what works best for others’ part.. but I also get it. I just would prefer not to miss these things (ds is neurodiverse and these things will be a source of many feelings for him). But I wondered if maybe it seems to them/ others that I should be able to miss them and I am throwing up roadblocks that are unreasonable [/quote]

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