Reply to How polite are you obligated to be to someone who is unwittingly rude or inconsiderate?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Assume the person has no idea whatsoever that their behavior is rude or inconsiderate, so your response will be their first indication that their behavior is a problem. Examples:

1) You are in the kitchen, preparing a meal for other people and tidying up. An adult family member comes in the kitchen to do something unrelated to the meal and is getting in your way, disrupting a time-sensitive cooking schedule.

2) While out with a group of friends, one of them starts joking about "people who do X," not realizing you are a person who does X.

3) A neighbor who has located climbing plants along a shared fence, that regularly come over, under, and through the fence, necessitating you to frequently have to cut them back. The neighbor likely understands the climbing plants make their way into your yard, but they are totally oblivious to the idea that it bothers you, as it would not bother them.

Are you obligated to be polite when you inform these people that their behavior is offensive or inconsiderate to you?[/quote]

Op - I ask this with kindness and not to point fingers - but is it possible you are on the spectrum? 
I ask bc most adults intuitively know and understand the nuance of these situations - that yes of course you have to be polite and assume good intent unless proven otherwise. 
People on the spectrum can need to have rules spelled out for them, but also are easily upset when others ‘break’ or disrupt what the autistic person has determined are the ‘rules’ of society and can find it hard to tell the difference between intention and action. 
If you do have asd it might be helpful to know this about yourself bc many in that community have similar challenges and then are surprised that they can come off as rude. 
Appreciate you asking and being thoughtful [/quote]

OP here and no, I’m not on the spectrum, but thank you all for your concern :roll:

I was not asking because I need anything “spelled out for me” but because I have noticed that people seem to have different attitudes about this. I don’t personally mind if someone lets me know I’ve done something rude or inconsiderate without sugar coating it (in fact I appreciate the directness) but some people seem to want more “honey” as they say. But perhaps I phrased the question poorly, because people seem to assume I’m screaming at people for minor things or sitting around dwelling on these situations. I’m not, I literally made those examples up because I thought it would be useful to have examples.[/quote]

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