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[quote=Anonymous]12 years of marriage and this has definitely been a challenge, especially with kids in the mix. First, I know I’m a clean-freak, and a borderline germaphobe. Therefore, there are things I need/want to do myself. DH can easily go a week without showering if no one inquired, polar opposites! Therefore, we tend to divide housework based on what we care about and our strengths, which unfortunately falls along stereotypical gender roles. I do most of the cleaning/organizing (cooking is more balanced). He does all the finances, house repairs etc. The only reason this division of labor holds is because he does take the lead child rearing. He does bath, putting to bed, feedings, preparing lunches, pick-ups. Of course, I’m right there with them, and sometimes have to fight for my turn to do these things! But DH has fully embraced parenting and is proud of his role. This all started with him taking 10weeks of parental leave, 7 of which were solo). Point is, sometimes you have to see what works, DH doesn’t care about cleanliness. I do! So we hired help, and I just accept that aside from a few tasks he has embraced (loading/unloading dishwasher, folding laundry) the rest is on me. May not be ideal, and many times I complain, but I’m trying to find an equilibrium in which we are both pulling our weight. 
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