Reply to Bias towards elderly who will not go quietly

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP and I agree with you. I do everything I can to ensure my parents wishes are met.

I think what I’m talking about is very subtle. I think all doctors would *say* they are respecting their older patients’ wishes. But [b]are they really taking the same stance they would take if the same things were happening to a 50-year-old[/b]? I seriously doubt it. In my experience there just isn’t a lot of frank discussion between patients and doctors about what they really want.

My mom will say to me, “they seem to be just giving up on your father!” So I’ll talk to the doctor who will say to me, “Your father says he doesn’t want X.” And I will say, “Did you explain to him that without X he is likely to die very soon? Did you really explain to him what X is, the pros and cons?” And when this happens, surprise surprise my dad chooses X! But I think the truth is the doctors think X is just delaying the inevitable so they mention it in a way that is designed to discourage it. Or they talk about it and death in a way that is so oblique, my parents don’t even fully understand it.[/quote]

It's not realistic to expect that they should.  The 80+ yr old body is not the 50 yr old body, there is a lot of wear and tear that's happened in between, and it does affect the outcomes.  My grandma died at 90 from something that was a 2 days hospital stay for my mom at 60.[/quote]

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