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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t doubt that is your family’s experience. Some daycares are better than others, and a female only child with no SN who has parents with enough bandwidth at home may very well not experience dysregulation. But the reality for many is very different. The biting and hitting alone can do a number on some kids while others barely notice.

Similarly, many kids love aftercare. I would still suggest parents of a kid who has been out of the home for 11 hours prioritize downtime and one-on-one time with mom or dad. Or at least acknowledge that it can be a lot when they’re formulating parenting strategies and setting expectations.

Research also shows that the number of hours and length of commute contributes to the experience. [/quote]

She said kids are in preschool or school from 9-4 or 7 hours so not sure where you got 11 hours from. Most of that is a regular school day for a 6 year old. My child went to full day preschool with plenty of kids with a parent at home from 9-3:30. Lots of families find ways to keep their kids days reasonable without staying at home. I imagine you are looking to justify your choices but maybe keep it to yourself instead of crapping on some one who is struggling.

OP, I do agree with the suggestions for 1:1 time. Even if you hire a mother’s helper to be with one kid. It makes a huge difference to my sensitive older child. I also think that you may want to pick your battles a little. One of my kids has ADHD and getting them out the door without having one of us lose their mind is a really difficult balancing act. For years I did a lot of things they “could” do for themselves for them in the morning. They could and were much more independent other times of the day. They now get themselves ready pretty well. I don’t really care it happened at 8 rather than 6. It was worth it to me to not have a fight every morning before I said goodbye for school. There’s a certain amount of conflict that starts to degrade your relationship with your kids and can have a negative feedback loop as they feel more like they are a bad kid and have no chance of succeeding. There are definitely lots of lines you have to hold, but if there’s some you can let go of, do it. Your relationship with your kids is really important too. [/quote]

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