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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The 6 year old can certainly do things on his own so can the 3 year old. I don't know what their extra needs are but my kids and many friends kids at this age could do things. Getting dressed, getting backpacks together, bringing down laundry etc etc.  Getting water, for oneself and the little sibling. Private time in the house with the kids around and awake is impossible for most. Once a week i don't come home from work and work out/shop and have dinner on my own with DH doing everything pickup/bedtime. 
It is really hard and takes a lot of effort getting them to be independent but the work is worth it. [/quote]

Oh he's totally capable. He just refuses and has major tantrums. We lose SO MUCH TIME to these tantrums. I try to stay boundaries but DP and my parents and SIL tell me I'm too rigid and need to lighten up. It's infuriating. [/quote]

Pick him up and put him in a room,close door and let him scream.  If you can't pick him up then everyone else the room and leave him alone. He is too old to be having tantrums and is only having them for getting his own way..  There should be serious consequences for this behavior.

There were five of us growing up and there was never a tantrum.  I have three and only one tried to have one tantrum to get her way.  I picked her up. Took her home. Put her in bed and there was never another tantrum . I don't care what anyone says, only spoiled brats have tantrums.

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