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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]New poster.   Im lonely a lot of the time and noticed I’ve been turning off my longstanding friends through my behavior.   I guess I’m a little/lot self involved.  I tend to think the little everyday things going on in my life are very dramatic and need to be discussed (problem with mom? Neighbor? Boss? Crazy interaction on the street?).  I’m realizing this is tiring to my friends who also have their own everyday dramas going on.   It’s not like I don’t have an outlet for discussion — my spouse is a super listener.  I just, feel a compulsion to tell my longstanding friends these things as they happen.  I’m sure I have a problem with compulsivity and adhd.  I’m a decent listener but these longstanding friends are sick of me and don’t tell me their problems anymore    And now I’m telling an anonymous forum.    I guess thats a step in the right direction…..[/quote]

Hi PP, this doesn’t sound bad to me. Everyone needs to vent. If I were your friend, it wouldn’t bother me at all.

I used to be more like you but am not anymore, even though my spouse is not a great listener.

But then it turned out a close friend who used to love to listen to me talk about stuff, and would actively solicit me to talk about whatever was going on in my life, was then using that info to spread a bunch of rumors about me. She liked listening to me because she thought I was ridiculous and said as much to other people when she told them ALL my personal business, often with some embellishments and heavy editorializing.

I’m lonely now and don’t really talk to anyone, including my spouse, but I guess lonely is better than ridiculed and humiliated. There are worse things than lonely.[/quote]

Oh wow, that’s terrible!   I don’t think my longstanding friends would spread rumors about me because they’re not part of any other social network I have (they’re not local).  I don’t know, it just seems like over the past few years their phone calls and texts have dried up and their interest in my life seems obligatory when pressed.   But also, I do find that when they talk about their own problems I just can’t relate, so maybe they just can’t relate to me either, anymore.   For instance, one friend had a baby a few years ago and complained to me that she teaches one class part time and it’s so awful that she has to give up time with her baby for 2 hours a week.   My jaw literally fell to the floor as I had literally two hours to spend with my children during the workweek when they were infants and I was working a full time job (before I tok a more reasonable 40 hour a week job).  So I think we’re not on the same page and each thinks the others’ problems are lame.  [/quote]

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