Reply to 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your relationship with your kids is important to you, and/or you’d like to see them at least semi-regularly now and in the future, move somewhere easy to travel to and make sure they have a comfortable place to stay when they visit. Most likely your kids won’t have a real home base after you move for years—try to make one in your new spot for them as much as possible.

I don’t think people always realize it, but the years after high school and into early 20s are pretty critical to start forming new traditions and expectations around time together that’ll stick with their kids even after they marry and have children of their own. We know two couples well that moved immediately after their kids were all out of the house and didn’t prioritize helping them afford to travel for Thanksgivings, etc. or setting a pattern of regular visits. Now they are often angry and wonder why they don’t see their grandkids often and why their kids don’t spend many holidays with them. It’s painful to hear about.

Not saying you shouldn’t move—or that adult children shouldn’t be expected to put in effort too!—just sharing something we’ve definitely noticed and kept in mind. [/quote]

Thanks for this.

My family made little or no effort, even when I had kids.  First Christmas after I had my first baby, there were no car rentals at the airport and I was worried about getting an Uber, so asked if anyone in my family would pick us up (hour) to airport.  Everyone said no and was pissed I would even ask (with a 3 month old), then finally an uncle came and the entire ride back commented on how rude we were to dare ask anyone to pick us at the airport.  Granted, another uncle always did it for his kids.  I could go on and on and yet I always hear about how they don't know their grandkids...well they don't make an effort and I am tired of making 99.9% of it.

My in-laws are the total opposite, visit us a lot, offer to watch our kids so we might go away for a few days.  They plan events when we come, we feel welcome, and they love our kids.  They are moving full-time to their second home a bit more remote, but we are making the effort because they really tried with us in a variety of ways. Ways my family never has.

It makes me sad, but I don't want my kid being constantly let down by my family who expects so much of me, yet doesn't reciprocate ever. Yes, I have brought this up and people don't care.

[/quote]

But who moved away?[b] I have one daughter who moved to Boston which ruined my family dynamic.[/b] [/quote]

What?![/quote]

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