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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We did it after the 6 week checkup. I was nervous and I made my husband promise to be gentle. It was fine, we resumed regular sex but I didn’t particularly enjoy it for a few months. It didn’t hurt, but I felt uncomfortable. [/quote]

This is really sad and makes me angry at your husband.[/quote]

Same. My DH may not see clothes on the floor or the dishwasher to be unloaded but he saw what I went through during delivery and postpartum and let me set the pace, even if it meant reduced or non-existent intimacy. I refused to have uncomfortable/unenjoyable sex before pregnancy and I sure wasnt going to placate afterwards when dealing with PF trauma and PPA a colicky baby and no sleep. It took me almost 2 years to [i]desire[/i] PIV sex again. 5 years post partum and we are having more frequent sex than ever and better sex (multiple O's or back to back sessions).

Unfortunately, many women experience the quiet coercion of "if he doesnt get what he needs, he will get it from someone else". I 100% told him that if his sexual needs- specifically PIV- were more important than my mental/physical/emotional safety then the choice was already made. I was doing everything I could to heal and we were doing non-PIV activities but I cant make it go faster and I refuse to "grin and bear it". How can sex be enjoyable for someone when the other person is in pain/has no interest/feels worse afterward? That's gross and is too close to sexual assault IMO.

And the fact is that for some women its 3 weeks post delivery all the way through years after delivery. We dont have enough research or support in this area and women 100% bear the burden of it.

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Bravo. I HATE the 1950s narrative that men are basically entitled to leave if they don’t get sex immediately after pregnancy and birth damage a woman’s body. Grow up and take some responsibility, men. Permanently altering our bodies is our part of the bargain. Having to jerk off for a year or two is yours.[/quote]

PP here. My husband is not a jerk, though it’s easy to paint it that way. But the reality is that for some people the birth impacts to your sex life are forever. I know this is the exception but it happens and no one talks about it. Ever. And that pisses me off because I had no idea that birth injuries could do this. I had no idea a vaginal
Birth could ruin my orgasms. They’ve gone from fireworks to basically like blowing out a birthday candle. They suck. And it’s because of muscle and nerve damage from
Childbirth. And yes, I have done literally every treatment you can think of - dry needling, estrogen, e-stim vaginally, kegel and core rehab, manual therapy, visceral manipulation, red laser therapy, Mona Lisa touch, etc. I have seen 5 urogynecologists! 5! There is unfortunately no magic bullet for scar tissue or pelvic floor muscles that got ripped to shreds. Surgeons operate and that creates more scar tissue which can make these issues worse! Pelvic floor Surgery is not a cure for pain.

I am unfortunately going to have this issue for the rest of my life. I’m now over 5 years past the delivery that injured me. I could barely tolerate penetration or thrusting for the first 2 years. Before birth we were a 3x a week couple as a compromise, because DH wanted it every day and I wanted it once a week. After years of basically no sex, me forcing myself to have sex once a week is what I am doing to keep my marriage. And it’s still not enough for my husband. He wants it daily so it’s a compromise for both of us. And sure, I guess we could have a sexless marriage (my preference) but that leads to my husband feeling rejected and needy and eventually that turns into boiling rage so it’s not a solution, and believe me, I tried. So yeah, is it awful that diminished pain but the ability to actually have intercourse is progress for me? Sure. Is it awful that I find sex a forced chore to stay married? Of course. Would it be nice to live in a world where my vagina can be
Magically fixed and my orgasms restored? Sure. But we don’t live in that world. We live in a world of hard choices and difficult truths, and postpartum realities for some
Women that mean we never get to go back to anything close to what we once were before. So please, show some empathy for those of us traveling this road that you will never be on, and making choices you never
Had to. [/quote]

I need some clarification here. You can't clitorally orgasm?
Also is penetration is painful/not pleasurable OR it's just you don't orgasm from penetration anymore?

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