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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse doesn't have a clue and frankly it has been a big issue in our marriage because I cannot make decisions for all of us without at least some of his information. After years of asking he has finally given me all his information--he was not hiding anything, he just didn't care and didn't even do the basic follow up of several 401ks sitting around in old accounts that have been transferred multiple times (and we have moved so they didn't have his new adddresses).

Finally this year I had enough. Although I had begged, yelled, and pleaded for him to get his financial info/ house in order for years, this year I said if he doesn't provide me with XYZ, I am formally separating our finances. So he started this. He still has a few 401ks or IRAs that he needs to get passwords for and roll over. Its clear he has no idea how his pension worked  (still doesn't really there are many options ), didn't look into beneficiaries and certainly never ever looked into figuring out whether we would be able to retire.  I asked him, like 2 years ago, how much he thought he had in retirement and he said "maybe a million?". Reader, it was 450k and he is in his late 50s.

When it comes to money he is a 'head in the sand' person, and grew up in a relatively modest home but both parents had good pensions so he just figured it would all work out. He also has pushed for expensive houses, etc, and when we first got together I went with the flow because I figured he knew more about this than me. Yes, the irony is that he writes about the economy (though not personal finance). I am a liberal arts major who took one econ class in college and my parents never taught me anything--god I wish they had encouraged me to buy a condo etc when I was in my late 20s/early 30s but it never crossed my mind. I  started realizing after we had kids that I needed to take this one, I began with personal finance for dummies and now handle our investments, 529, bills, etc.  I wish dh had more curiosity to do this with me or at least keep up with what my decisions are but I think between adhd and anxiety he doesn't want to deal. He made some stupid financial decisions early on as well that put him significantly behind where he should be. Fortunately he is going to have a decent pension and we will be fine, if not comfortable by DCUM standards.

As for 'what to do' if I get hit by a bus, we are working on that now. I've convinced DH to see a financial planner who will hopefully give us a road map that he can follow independently and I have created a couple documents with all of our passwords, etc.  But even there, its pulling teeth.

The only good thing about all of this, I guess, is that I dont have anyone second guessing me. But I would prefer to have an equal partner advising and sharing in the responsibility.

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Same. My husband gets mad when i bring up finances! All my stock picks have done really well, like AAPL, Goog, nvdia. I like motley fool as a resource, as well as Bogleheads, etc. [/quote]

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