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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to be 1) honest with yourself about if you want more kids or not and then 2) expressly honest with her about it.

It sounds like you haven’t done either.   Similar situation here (I’m the wife) - 15 years later.  We have one elementary school aged kid, and we’re all (me, husband, now-adult stepkid) are all happy with the way it worked out, but both my H and I were on the fence about having a kid together for a while.  Finally at one point I told him he needed to just be clear about what he wanted.

Frankly, being a stepmom to school-aged kids w/o kids of your own can be raw deal.  You have the constraints of kids (money, vacation time, schedules, messes), without the joy.

But, if she prefers a more independent life, she might be perfectly happy seeing you a few days a week, and having a lot of time to herself.

[/quote]

This. Key point-- ONE kid. And only one stepkid. That's why they didn't get maxed-out and miserable. If OP's girlfriend says "I want my kids to be #3 and #4, and have less of their father's attention than they would if they were #1 and #2, and I want him to pay child support for many years to come, and I want to plan all our vacations around the big kids' school schedules, and I want to parent little kids by myself a lot of the time while their dad takes his older kids to activities, and I want my husband to be in frequent contact with his ex-wife"-- if she says all those things then totally go for it! Enjoy your sleepless infants and your toddler parenting-- it's much harder in your 40s.[/quote]

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