Reply to Husband is not there for me in my grief

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I think I have a lot of resentment at my husband for not pursuing a higher paying professional track and not listening to me when I had told me I was concerned about fertility while we were waiting to TTC.

So I don’t blame him for running away, exactly. But I don’t have anyone to help me with my grief. [b]I think I am also angry at myself for choosing a low paid career [/b]and I guess I assumed I’d meet a guy who made more but I fell in love with my husband and thought we could make it work. [/quote]

This.  My mom used to repeat the saying when you point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you.  You had agency every step of the way - you could have pivoted to finding a job that paid more, you could have just had a kid while being poor (my mom had me in her early 20’s) and come up with how you could make that work - lower COL, living near family willing to help, you could have only dated guys that wanted their wives to SAH with kids if that was your priority.   As much as you day you were worried, about putting off TTC, you didn’t make any moves to a higher paying job yourself or say you would rather be poor with one kid than risk not having kids at all and had that the make or break moment

So here you are - owning your own decisions, what do you want now?  How are you and your DH a team again? [/quote]

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