Reply to SIL asked us to take her kids overnight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is sooo busy with her own kid and her own life and couldn’t possibly find the time to help her family out - yet she has plenty of time to write a novel on an anonymous chat board and bash them.

You’re just a mean person, OP.  That’s the bottom line.  [/quote]

OP here. They are not my family. They are my son's and husband's family. I can count on one hand the amount of time he's seen them in the last 2 years. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 3 birthdays. That's it. And you're right, I don't like them for a number of reasons. BIL is an alcoholic and has had multiple DUI's over the last 10 years. He doesn't put his kids in carseats half the time. I have zero interest in supporting them getting hammered for the evening and waiting for them to come pick the kids up when they're hungover. And I know, I will get flack for not taking these kids in with alcoholic parents.

They are coming to us because MIL dropped their regular support of childcare. We're not "helping them out", they have plenty other options like BIL's mom or one of SIL's friends.

I guess what I don't understand is DCUM's groupthink that you have to bend over backwards for family, even family that you don't like or spend time with often. [/quote]

I don't think you're mean, op. They haven't helped you and that hurt you. And now they need your help and it's not easy for you. Not hard--but not no big deal either.

I would consider first if you WANT your kid to have a relationship with their cousins. Because if that's the case then helping them now may open up that door.

You have a few choices.

Say no and offer them the name of a sitter or two.

Say yes to part, but not the whole 24 hours. If it's local then they can do 7p to 7am. No need for it to be noon to noon the next day or whatever they are asking. Make some plans for early Sunday morning so they have to come get their kids.

Or do the whole thing, know that it's a full 24 hours but it'll be good for THE KIDS. Yours and theirs. But when it's done you'll have more info on how the future goes. It'll go by faster than you think. [/quote]

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