Reply to SIL asked us to take her kids overnight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is sooo busy with her own kid and her own life and couldn’t possibly find the time to help her family out - yet she has plenty of time to write a novel on an anonymous chat board and bash them.

You’re just a mean person, OP.  That’s the bottom line.  [/quote]

OP here. They are not my family. They are my son's and husband's family. I can count on one hand the amount of time he's seen them in the last 2 years. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 3 birthdays. That's it. And you're right, I don't like them for a number of reasons. BIL is an alcoholic and has had multiple DUI's over the last 10 years. He doesn't put his kids in carseats half the time. I have zero interest in supporting them getting hammered for the evening and waiting for them to come pick the kids up when they're hungover. And I know, I will get flack for not taking these kids in with alcoholic parents.

They are coming to us because MIL dropped their regular support of childcare. We're not "helping them out", they have plenty other options like BIL's mom or one of SIL's friends.

I guess what I don't understand is DCUM's groupthink that you have to bend over backwards for family, even family that you don't like or spend time with often. [/quote]

You married into this family, so you have to learn to coexist with them.

Your posts here are disingenuous. First, it's that you work full time and are in grad school, so tired. Then it's that you don't know the kids. Then it's that you're resentful of your in-laws for not helping you and also getting more help than you got. Then further resentful because you dislike them and they make sh*tty choices. Stop adding details. It makes you look like a troll. Your post made it sound like the request is unreasonable or imposing or like they are very entitled. A woman asked her brother if her kids could spend the night so she can go to a high school reunion. She wants to socialize and wants the kids occupied. On the face of it, there's nothing unreasonable about that. You just want to be offended, so you are offended. People say, "So tell her you're not available" and that's not enough. You want everyone to know how right you are, so you start adding details.

Why? Why do you care?[/quote]

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