Reply to Wife behaves like a child during arguments and throws things. Call the cops?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It doesn’t sound like you think you are in any immediate danger.

If I am reading that wrong, and you do believe you are in danger, you should leave your abusive spouse and go stay with friends or in a hotel while you file for divorce.

If you do not believe you are in danger don’t call the police, because their job isn’t to get revenge on your spouse for you, and as you correctly note, there is a solid chance you will be arrested (some localities require the arrest of both parties, and remember by the time the police arrive it is your word against hers and she may have been throwing something because she was in mortal fear of her life…). Initiate divorce proceedings against your abusive spouse. [/quote]

Throwing inanimate objects is domestic violence.  Why are we so accepting of DV when a woman does it?[/quote]

We aren’t.  
If a woman is doing this to someone who is physically smaller than she is with less power, then it’s not acceptable.  No one thinks this would be okay if OP’s wife was throwing things at her child, or at a grandparent who lives with them.  
 It’s not that this is a woman.  It’s that OP didn’t get hurt and isn’t the weaker person in this situation.  
[/quote]
Male victims of domestic violence at the hands of female partners are at a significant disadvantage because of social stigma (such as your post’s erroneous claim that a larger person can’t be abused by a smaller person) and fear of doing anything to defend themselves that might be misconstrued as their being the violent one. Domestic abusers don’t just physically intimidate their partners; they play mind games with their partners to gain the upper hand.

OP, as a male, you were raised to believe that you can’t ever get violent with a female, but you probably were never taught what to do if a female got violent with you. Treat this situation seriously. It doesn’t matter that you’re physically stronger. Abuse frequently escalates and an unstable, violent woman can be extremely dangerous. You need to come up with an exit strategy. Work with a therapist if you need to.

In the meantime, document all acts of violence. Memorialize the date, time and location, what the argument was about if there was one, what made her upset, what was said (especially anything threatening), how physical things got, what was thrown, the resulting damage, and any injuries either of you sustained. Take photos of property damage and your injuries, if you have any.

Don’t even think about salvaging this relationship unless she undergoes treatment for anger management and makes real progress.[/quote]

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