Reply to Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Likely when you were dating, the kids and suburban life was some ideal mirage that seemed okay.

He’s older now, and has friends who have had kids and he knows the stories from the trenches: lack of sleep, whiney kids and teens, expensive daycare and activities, and the biggie: decline in sex because DW is wiped out caring for kids.

You waited to long, he knows what I really means to “have a baby” — it’s a lifetime of commitment and sacrifice.

He probably expects you to leave and he can date a younger model and repeat the cycle. [/quote]

Op here. I am thinking this too. He doesn’t like to be inconvenienced and has a short discomfort tolerance and he is more curmudgeonly as he gets older.

I thought he would become more mature but it’s the opposite case here. [/quote]

Or, he has become more mature and realizes his desires and limitations and is expressing them.

We need to stop it with the having kids is somehow the more mature or more adult decision, or that people who choose not to have kids are selfish narrative. [/quote]

This. This is a way more mature outlook than the way op is framing it. Having kids is brutal. Those men who think it’s going to be awesome and wants lots of kids either 1. Are immature and/or deluding themselves, 2. Are insanely high energy, or 3. Are telling you that they expect that you wifey will handle the vast majority of it.

Assuming the husband is not the ten percent of the population that is insanely high energy, the man who is wary is the more mature, thoughtful husband. [/quote]

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