Reply to Trying to get over husband’s affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Jesus Christ it’s only been six weeks and you’re already having sex with him?

I don’t care if there’s some way you could magically know whether is intention was really to leave or stay. He said horrible, humiliating things about you to another woman that he was banging, all while being cruel to you at home. That is a place that I could never come back from. I could perhaps come back from the sex piece, but not cruel words about me to the woman he’s sleeping with on the side. Zero respect.

I know this sounds harsh. But you do NOT deserve what he’s done to you. I think affairs can be recovered from in some cases, but this is beyond the pale. [/quote]

Yes, it’s actually the things he said versus the sex itself that’s been the hardest.  They included:

He was repulsed by me
Not emotionally invested ever 
Never wanted to marry me 
Stayed as we have a child with a disease 
She was “put in his path” so he could finally get the courage to leave 
I was over-weight (I’m attractive but 53 and have had about ten stubborn extra pounds during menopause) 
He was seeing a therapist to try to figure out how to tell me 
He was in love with her - his words 
He pursued her pretty aggressively I’d say she was hesitant due to him being married

[/quote]

He was actually seeing a therapist to figure out how to tell you that he didn’t want to be with you, or about the affair?

Either way, this is all awful.  How do you know about these things he said?[/quote]

He told her (the OW) that he was seeing therapist to figure out how to tell me he was leaving.  OW is a never married, no kids 36 year old woman. My husband is 55.  She definitely was being told things so she would get over her reservations about being with a married man.  I have talked to his therapist (he allowed) and she confirms he was in therapy to deal with what he was doing and why but not to figure out how to leave me

On the comments, most were screen shots she so kindly shared with me (the other woman) 😠[/quote]

Women really have no problem wrecking a marriage. Why they all keep falling for married men making them fairytale promises? Women will even encourage other married men to leave their spouses and be with them instead incredible![/quote]
OP's husband is the one who had no problem wrecking his own marriage. His vows were his to protect, and he trashed them. [/quote]

A 36-year old woman who wants kids and a husband of her own is a complete idiot looking for married men to play that role.  They are wasting really critical years of their child-bearing/marketability.  Very sad.[/quote]

Right? Wtf is that about? If I was 36 and felt my clock ticking, I'm not sure I'd try to stake a claim on the 55 year old married man as my potential husband and father of children.  That seems like a toilet bowl strategy.  [/quote]

OP here. Yes, I think she has mental health and self esteem issues (to state the obvious) however, my husband is very good looking and extremely successful, so I can understand her own fantasy of it working out [/quote]

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