Reply to Expecting people to help you move in your forties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not rude to ask someone to help you move. It would be rude to just expect them to help, or to get angry if they said no. But it's not rude to ask.

It's also not rude to say "No, I don't want to." Like you don't need a good excuse or a conflict, you can just say that you don't want to move heavy boxes all day. It's fine.

A lot of the comments in this thread illustrate why sometimes even basic human interaction is weirdly difficult. You are all making it much harder than it needs to be.

(Also, OP's follow up indicates her real problem is that her DH has agreed to help his brother move, presumably because he wants to, and she's mad he won't be home to help her with things, which is actually a totally different issue that has nothing to do with whether it is appropriate for people in their 40s to ask for help with a move, but I digress.)[/quote]

Or she knows that DH can't say no to his family without the ILs making him feel guilty and, once again, they are being imposed upon because his ILs are too cheap to pay for help. [/quote]

But if the issue is that her DH can't say no, then it has nothing to do with the IL's perceived cheapness. It's an issue with her DH being unable to say no to his family.

Besides, that's not what OP said. She just said her DH has agreed to help his brother move and she's mad about it. She didn't say he really doesn't want to but feels in has to. In fact, she is the one saying that she feels like she can't say no to helping even though numerous posters have explained that yes, of course she can.

My presumption is that people do what they want and what works for them. So if her DH is helping his brother move, I assume it's because he wants to. I'm guessing OP, who very clearly does not want to help, will find a way not to do so. One strategy she has is to come on here and complain about the very fact that her ILs are asking. She will use this to help get out of it. But what I'm saying is that she doesn't have to. She can just say that she doesn't want to help move.[/quote]

ILs are too cheap to hire movers and impose on OP and DH to help because they are family. If the ILs could not afford movers, OP would have said so. OP was checking with DCUM to see if this was the norm in your 40s to ask other people to help move you for free. DCUM responded by saying it is not. [/quote]

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