Reply to Please give me stories about being a step parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You've already identified the child as a "problem" so you need to leave and let him find someone better. I can't imagine a normal person calling a 3 year old child's very existence a problem--you are gross. [/quote]

This is unfair.

Being a step parent is a HUGE deal and very challenging. Many relationships with step parents fail. She is right to question whether she want this.

And at 32, I think she should listen to her gut and keep dating single or divorced guys with no kids.

OP, once I turned 41, I started dating divorced dads. It's hard. I am in a relationship with one now. You just don't get prioirtized the way you would if there were no stepkids involved. You also wind up giving up control and decisionmaking on a LOT of things that women who DONT have stepkids DO get to control.

Like where you live (my boyfriend lives in a house i hate and he refuses to entertain the idea of moving to a new house, even in the same school district, if we get married). Like how you spend the holidays. Whether the kids living in your house put their dishes in the dish washer or not - if dad doesn't tell them to, it wont happen.

Not worth it at 32.

If you are still single at forty plus, there will be a TON of divorced dads you can date. A TON. You can always date divorced dads later if you dont find a guy with no kids now.[/quote]

Thank you for sharing. A big part of this is just [b]plain old terrible self-esteem. I’m terrified if I let the first man who has really truly treated me well there won’t be another.[/b] I might find one without kids but it’s so hard to imagine to find one as thoughtful, kind, mature, generous or well-matched for me.[b] I am simply not the kind of woman who frequently attracts men like this.[/b] [/quote]

Honestly, OP, the bold is the biggest screaming red flag in the whole thread.  Please stop dating for a year and focus on intensely individual therapy for yourself.  Your life can be so much different and better -at work, with friends and in relationships - when you deal with your own issues before you get involved with others. [/quote]

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