Reply to Lost It, Said Things I Can’t Take Back

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD said string of horrible, insulting things. Ignored ignored ignored until she said I was mentally ill, was so angry at the tirade of insults without thinking I said “how about you look in the mirror”

Yes I know I am horrible. I did say I shouldn’t have said that.

I think our relationship is just done, maybe one day it will be better but maybe not. I have to stop caring and go on with my life. If she hates me she hates me.

She is 22, not living with us. Says she wants nothing to do with us.

She had what I thought was a good childhood - family trips, summers in a cabin away from constant electronics, soccer, art classes, flute, parents who were around and engaged and cared, involved in school etc.

I don’t know what we did.[/quote]

Young adults want an apology from their parents. This is reinforced in all the various social media messaging they got and a biproduct of the emphasis of mental health “wellness” messaging they were bombarded with. It has made them all more self-absorbed than a typical teenager in the past.

Their parents, meanwhile, want a thank you for all of the sacrifices they made and the difficulties of child rearing. And we’re fed up with the entitlement attitudes and general lack of appreciation. Ironically, we fostered that. But until they are in our shoes, they won’t appreciate it. And maybe not even then.

You are loggerheads. You aren’t the only ones. [/quote]

I pity your kids, have no doubt you are a monstrously controlling parent. Hope they estrange from you and you can choke on it the rest of your poor me life. YOU CHOSE TO HAVE KIDS, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THANKS FOR IMPOSING YOURSELF UPON THEM WITH ALL YOUR TOXIC UNRESOLVED GARBAGE THAT YOU INFLICTED ON THEM.

Parents SHOULD acknowledge and apologize for the damage they do to their children. Period. They do not deserve nor should they expect gratitude for anything they did as far as parenting from conception to age 18 - that was the obligation they freely chose. Children don’t get to choose. I know many children who wish they could have. I know many children whose lives have been agony and who would much have preferred not to have been born.

So sick of entitled breeders who want a medal for abusing their kids.[/quote]

You sound a little unhinged and are doing a lot of projection. I was describing a societal phenomenon, not my own circumstances. If that triggers you so radically, maybe you should seek mental health care. I don’t mean that unkindly.[/quote]

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