Reply to Sharing an ASD dx with child when you're not sure if you buy it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What other criteria for the diagnosis were in the report besides the lack of back and forth conversation?

My daughter had other criteria mentioned and we weren't totally sold that they fit or were correctly described in the report.  But on the whole, and as our kid aged, I can see how the diagnosis fits.  For example, while my kid is sensitive to issues of social justice and helps out other kids who are struggling (something I though ASD kids weren't supposed to be able to recognize because I thought ASD kids lacked empathy ha ha jokes on me), there is a little bit of a wall up in seeing/recognizing what's going on with other people in a way that she doesn't really even know she's missing, such as, like, sometimes failing to recognize when a situation is supposed to be centered on another kid, or not thinking about someone's birthday unless we ask her to, if that makes sense.  Also I didn't realize it when she was younger but sometimes on the playground she was more following the big group of kids around than actually playing in the big group itself -- so it seemed like she was a part of the group but was actually more parallel to the group, if that makes sense.  I didn't really understand this until after I read more about ASD and how it can present and took a hard look back at things I missed.  (She was also evaluated for ASD early on but was considered not to meet the criteria when younger -- though because a large part of diagnosing ASD is the behavior that parents self report, if the parents aren't grokking the behavior that meets the criteria and describing it on the forms, then the earlier diagnosis will be missed.)

I don't mean to represent my kid as someone who has fully developed social skills who presents as totally normal.  Some kids see my kid's emotional disregulation at school and don't like them.  They are more nerdy and not in the popular crowd.  But they still have a core group of friends that they enjoy spending time with.

I would tell your kid their diagnosis and let them know you're not sure it really fits them (you can even say why), but let them know that you thought it was important for them to know and that you can look at it together as they get older and see if it really fits or not.  Good luck![/quote]

I’m one of the pps who was asking for more clarity (so I could better understand my own kid) and greatly appreciate you sharing and expanding. This is really helpful and sounds like it was a skilled evaluator and you are great parents. [/quote]

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