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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you're still being a control freak and not understanding what it means for them to make their own decisions and live the they want. It really has nothing to do with you as long as you stop trying to control them. It's really what it comes down to. You don't like to see it, you want them to be living the way you envision and you're furious. Move on with your life. Talk to them once a week or so. My controlling sister made my parents move into an assisted living near her. Then she dropped dead 3 months in. My dad died 6 months after that. Now my mom lives by herself, in ths place where she knows nobody. Rapidly deteriorating dementia. But she will probably live this way for 10 more years. And for what? She's miserable. I can't see but once or month or so, at best. Why live in nursing homes into your 90s when life that way sucks. Stick it out at home and die 10 years earlier, on your own terms. That's the way I see it. But guess what, I only have to worry about how I want to age. [/quote]

Because by leaving them to suffer and die  horribly is actually abuse. They are delusional, whether or not it matters. She doesn't have to care for them,  but they will be in a Medicaid facility,  they will take the assets ( probably the biggest concern because they will wipe out any and all of the estate) and they will die there because many of these places are really really bad. 
Medicare will pay for up to 90 days after a 3 day hospitalization,  but that is  it.  [/quote]

Abuse isn't so clear cut. People are allowed to make their own terrible decisions up to a point. OP can you get an aging care professional to visit and give you and objective assessment of level of functioning and need? They are often trained in ways to talk to Seniors and help them accept help.[/quote]

They had medicare and a social worker out. I was told by the social worker that these are the people they find dead on the floor, having laid there for days[/quote]

You are being absurd.  Your sister is living with them and taking care of them the best she can.  That is not abuse.[/quote] The social worker’s point is that people who refuse to change their situation when they have to cannot be helped until horrible crisis and then it’s usually too late. As someone who was the only person who came to hospice an elderly relative who refused to be helped, one person burns out VERY quickly.[/quote]

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