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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please help me not become resentful or annoyed. He says he needs a nightly phone call from our kids and me to "tuck him in" since my mother died two years ago.
I'm a mom with two young children. Nighttime is usually getting in from sports, scrambling for dinner, showers, book, and then some wind down time - my kids both love to lie on my bed and chat about their days. Sometimes, I'm just frazzled and done - and focused on my kids - and if we don't call, the phone will ring at 9pm with my dad wondering where we were and wanting to chat. My kids want to do speaker, he can't hear them, the calls go on, and then it's 15 minutes later.
Part of me feels like a HUGE meanie. Who can't take time out for a call? But it just feels perfunctory and not like an organic, easy chat when we can actually talk about the day. Everyone is tired and preoccupied.
I have tried to subtly set a boundary by not calling each night. But when we miss a night, he texts me by 11pm with a sad emoji asking where we were.
I really don't know what to do. We barely talked on the phone before; when my mom was alive, maybe I'd call them three or four times a week. 
He also lives nearby, so we see him 4-5 times a week. He is involved in our lives and sees the kids.
My DH is baffled - he talks to his (widowed) mom maybe twice a month!! She never asks him to call.
What do I do? I feel terrible. I get he's lonely. But I also feel like it's less about the interaction and more about checking a box, and it's a box that is sometimes disruptive. Help. I am consumed by guilt even feeling this way.[/quote]

so sad.  maybe he was a terrible parent and deserves this? i cannot imagine that as a daughter you cannot do this for him. it is not as if he is asking you to change his diaper ffs![/quote]

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