Reply to Parental time and activities as kids age

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Instead of sitting in traffic for an hour, why not attend a sports practice for one kid while hanging out, talking with the other kid?

They would have less traffic and kids would get to have activities. If all they do is drive an hour and sleep on Tuesday night, why doesn’t he just take the kids to activities and dinner Tuesday night and let them sleep in their own beds?

He could also get them Friday after activities and keep them until Monday morning - replacing your Wednesday am routine. [/quote]

OP here. I agree this would be logical. He doesn’t want to give up time with either kid. He also wants activity free time. It’s frustrating. I offered the Sunday evening in place of Tuesday night or friday activities. So he could wait until practice is over Friday and also keep them until Monday morning. His issue with Friday is he doesn’t want to sit in more traffic and apparently 30 minutes makes a difference. [/quote]

Sounds like he thinks the kids are 5 yo and he will be the fun Disney Dad and the kids are there to stroke his ego.

Why doesn’t he want them to do some sport or arts well and take strong lessons? Weird. [/quote]

No, it sounds like he wants to spend the little time he has with the kids and not sitting in the car at practice and not spending time with them.[/quote]

It's called parenting time for a reason.  Because the job during the time is to be a parent, which includes the fun parts, and the less fun parts like sitting in the car, and helping with homework, and putting their needs first.

The kids needs should be at the center of the decision making.  Not the parent's desire for a playmate.   [/quote]

Parenting time is when you share custody.  Visitation is when you only get your kids every other weekend and maybe a few hours during the week.  So, it's not reasonable to have Dad spend no 1-1 time with the kids as you over-schedule them and schedule on his time.  He decides what happens on his time, you on yours.  You know the schedule and you choose a team and times that work for the schedule.  This is not competitive swim at a serious level if it's just 3 afternoons/evenings a week.   You are not a parent if you have every other weekend visitation and you get no say in your child's life or schedule.  As the custodial parent you don't get to dictate what happens during visits.  You can request it, but you don't get to dictate it.[/quote]

What's the problem with picking the kid up from practice on Friday evening? He still gets Friday eve and the entire weekend so his precious one-on-one is not affected.  OP offered Sunday night as well so he can get more time if he extends his weekend and brings the kids to school on Monday morning.  OP is being flexible so the father should be as well.

Think long term.  What else is he going to require on "his" weekend?  No homework so it doesn't eat into his one-on-one?  No cooking? No cleaning? 48 hrs of back-to-back fun?[/quote]

For what ever reason he doesn't want to wait or cannot wait.  We don't know what his reasoning is.  Maybe OP can offer to drive the child to his house as a compromise if it's that important to her that the child swims on Dad's night.    Sunday night might be an issue with transportation/school start times.  The entire weekend is Friday night to Sunday afternoon.  You realize that's 48 hours or less.  [/quote]

Dad gets to control the majority of nights (no practice Tuesday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday) and the majority of the weekend time since mom loses one weekend a month to meets and two to him.

When you take out sleep, and HW and dental visits, and tutoring, and relatively minimal amount of extracurriculars, and any social experiences. the kid has more time with Dad than Mom, during which he has no responsibility to parent, according to some people here.

And you say that it’s because he wants time with his kid, and then propose a “compromises” where he sees him less.  Making it 100% clear that in your mind (can’t speak to Dad’s) it’s really about sticking it to Mom even if his kids get hurt in the process.[/quote]

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