Reply to Not ready for kids - help me feel ok about this

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ohh man, this tore my family apart. My parents eventually divorced because of it. My sister was the one who had the baby. [/quote]

How did your sister having a child cause your parents to divorce?[/quote]

Don’t be obtuse. She had a child when she was in the same position as OP’s niece (no college, no career, no money). She and her child were completely dependent on my parents.[/quote]

Not following how your sister and her child made your parents divorce. Who was responsible for the child?[/quote]

My parents. They were in their late 50s at that point, and my other sibling (my brother) & were in our late teens/early 20s during the kid’s early years. This is the short version, but my dad believed that my sister should’ve moved out, gotten a full-time job, paid her own expenses and raised the child herself since it was her decision to keep the child (they live in a LCOL area in the rust belt). My mom disagreed and didn’t trust that the child would be cared for properly by my sister if they moved out, so convinced her to stay at their house with her kid.

My mom voluntarily took on basically all of the childrearing (taking kid to and from part-time prek, putting them to bed (in my parents’ bed) dressing them, reading to them, laundry, feeding them, buying them clothes, paying for prek, doctors appts, watching kid almost 24/7). But my mom would complain about that, and then she’d get into fights with my dad. My mom would give my sister, who was MIA most of the time, money whenever she asked. My sister would eat at restaurants very frequently & leave messes of takeout food all over the kitchen. When I was home for breaks in college in high school, we’d all get woken up by 2am screams for mommy & the occasional toddler puking. My brother & I were left to finish raising ourselves at this point.

My dad basically started seething with anger over all of this. He decided this wasn’t how he wanted to spend his upcoming retirement and the next two decades of his life and filed for divorce. [/quote]

What a horrible father you have. Absolutely disgusting all of you (except your mom).[/quote]

Actually, my mom was the horrible one. She decided that we were all going to take this on and damn everyone else in the household’s thoughts & feelings. I don’t blame him one bit. [/quote]

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