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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe start by not invalidating their experience by calling it "high functioning." That's just another way of saying that the autism doesn't affect others, but ignores the affect it has on the autistic person. And masking is exhausting. You could begin to build a better relationship if you don't expect them to mask around you.
-Autistic adult[/quote]

For starters OP, don’t take anything personally when Autistic Adults constantly verbally attack you. They can’t not disagree and be belligerent.

Detach

Have your social needs and supports from other circles of friends.

Offer advice but not enabling or codependency

Allow them lots of daily decompression time

Watch for their anxiety or depression episodes and help them get treatment or meds

Get them therapy tune ups and executive functioning coaches as needed

Do not pressure them to be social, date or get married.

Do not hide their diagnoses from any serious significant others. Do not. 
Offer help or advice but dont keep a family secret. [/quote]

The only thing I don't agree with is the social part. I would not "pressure", but I would see it a sign of poor functioning and be willing to pay for therapy or offer up other suggestions. One day we will not be here. Our kids need friends and connections. I think it is enabling to stand back if someone is socially isolated and if you don't keep using the social skills you learned you can lose them. I don't think anyone has to have a bunch of friends, but it's not OK to have no friends and no peers you ever do anything with or communicate with in some way. [/quote]

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