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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents thought they had planned carefully but had no comprehension of elder care costs in the 21st century (neither did us kids). They were an accountant and administrative assistant with modest pensions and &lt;$1 million in other savings. It's all gone after years of those $10k/month bills. My Dad passed at 86 and my 88-year old Mom is moving to a Medicaid facility this summer.

Sometimes that's how it goes when you get old. I have no better suggestion other than to not be sick for very long at the end.[/quote]

Precisely what happened to us. My dad went to level 4 LTC at Hebrew Home in Rockville at 15K/month. Previously he'd had 24-hour private nurses at his home at ca. 30k/month. We burned through his savings, and his house sale proceeds, like a match through dry grass.

Now that he has passed, I'm wondering what to do in my own old age. "Not being sick for very long at the end" is the only solution in the US, unless you are very wealthy indeed.[/quote]

+1. Unless you/your family has recenlty had to deal with elder care, you just don't get it. Unless you are independently wealthy, you can never save enough. And this is why more and more parents are moving in with their children - the money starts to run out. [/quote]

Nope.  There are plenty of places that are[b] $3-5k a month[/b].  [/quote]

[b]They may start you out at that rate... but 6 mos later, that place is bought out by XXX company, and the price goes up to $6500/mo.  Then another 6 mos later, they do an assessment and decide the needs have increased (although it's mostly the same as it was in the beginning) and the price goes up to $8000/mo.  [/b]By this point, your parent is familiar with the routines/people at this place, so you don't want to move him/her b/c it will likely cause agitation and even more confusion.... and besides that, there are waiting lists for the other places (that are cheaper).  So, you figure it can't be THAT long before they don't need any care at all.  And time goes on...

The "retirement savings" of $250,000 are dwindling down month by month (after using all the parent's SS and military pension first, and then drawing the remaining balance from the retirement savings).  The parent who is fully healthy stays in the marital home, but honestly, is going to be a lot better off financially when the dementia parent dies b/c she will get the use of the spousal portion of the military pension and the widow portion of the SS.  For people in the midwest who stopped working 20+ yrs ago (now in their 80's) -- whose salaries were never comparable to what people earn today (and on the coasts), $250k was a very respectable retirement nestegg.  But, when you start drawing down several thousand per month, and that goes on for years... it shows you where the gaps are in our care system.

I don't think it's correct to suggest that there are places for people with dementia at $3-5k/mo.  That's more of a way to get people into the facility... and it assumes they are low-needs/high-functioning.  That's just not the case for most people who are progressing through dementia -- they need full care.
[/quote]

We did not experience this.  There was a small increase the second year.

Yes, there absolutely are places that are $3-5k per month for dementia.  [/quote]

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