Reply to Boyfriend blows up every time the house is messy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was on your side until you said the kitchen isn’t clean at night. That’s actually gross - leaving dirty dishes or crumbs on the counters. It was the wrong thing we make sure is clean before bed - no matter what. Even if we have a major dinner party, every dish is done before bed. And really, it’s a much more pleasant morning when you enter a clean kitchen.[/quote]

In my house, my husband is in charge of the dishes and keeping the kitchen clean. That comes with me having to let go of him sometimes leaving dishes until morning, etc. Either you are in charge of doing the cleaning, or you have to be more flexible about how and when the cleaning gets done. I think.

I'll just say for me and my husband, we did fight a fair amount about cleaning and that sort of thing when we were getting used to living together. 14 years in we've adapted to each other a lot better. It's hard to say without knowing more whether OP and her boyfriend are just at that stage of having to learn what it's actually like sharing space all the time with another human being - with all the ups and downs that come with it - or if the boyfriend is an unreasonable and volatile neat freak.

OP - what do you think? Are you and your boyfriend both there ready to put in the work to learn how to live together, or do you feel like this just isn't what you want to sign up for? Either decision is fair![/quote]

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