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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did he react the following morning?

The answer to that question is the whole
story. Everyone counseling the OP to slow down, it’s one time, w/ev needs to take a long hard look at why they did not ask this question.

There is only one good answer to this question and I would bet my house it isn’t what happened here.

OP: what did he say and do the next day?[/quote]

Thanks everyone, especially those understanding that this was actually really awful and upsetting.

The first thing he did the next morning was to apologize. He was very remorseful. At the same time he seemed dismissive about needing to do more than “it won’t happen again”. I was too annoyed to talk to him more yesterday and ignored him. This morning he apologized again. He’s willing to see a therapist and though he doesn’t think he has a problem (I disagree), he said he’s open to seeing someone who knows about substance abuse and anger management who can advise him and us whether it is or not. I really hope he will follow through on this, I think it’s the only way we can survive.

To those thinking I overreact, well I think I’ll just disagree and leave it at that. It isn’t an isolated incidence, he has “snapped” like this when drinking before but this is the first time it happened in front of kids and friends. For me that crosses a line. I honestly think that the fact the kids saw him like this has shook him up and is the only reason he’s willing to speak with someone about it.

Ps: I didn’t cry in front of my kid. She has a bunk bed and I went in there to get away from him. If you think that’s what will mess them up vs their dad being drunk and scary, then okay. 
[/quote]

“What did he say/do the next day” poster here.

So basically: he talka-ed talka-ed talka-ed. He’s spinning his wheels and hoping you back off.

Good answers would have included: immediately upon waking up, he would have said something like “Whoa—I have a problem and I need to get help.” Or “Oh my God, I can’t even remember what happened—something terrible must have happened with the alcohol and those meds; I’m not going to drink again unless/until I’m off them.” Or he would have called the doctor to say “hey, I didn’t realize this could happen—but it did and I’m never doing that again. I do like having a beer with dinner; what are my options for medications that won’t interact this way?”

These are things a person *without* a substance use disorder would say, to be clear. That is not OP’s husband—he *does* have a substance use disorder, which we know because he is taking no steps to prevent future harmful consequences of his substance use to the rest of the family. So it’s not surprising he didn’t say/do these things.

I get to keep the house I bet and unfortunately, OP, you are stuck with this problem.

In your shoes, I did see a marriage counselor and a lawyer. Husband is 5 yrs sober and we are still married. But he wanted to not do that kind of crap anymore. Yours isn’t there yet.

Good luck. Be strong.[/quote]

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