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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband went through all this around age 45. Including the self grooming. There absolutely was no affair nor interest in one. It was just a mid life crisis plus depression. He was also quick to argue with me, blame me for things, etc, and twenty years into our relationship I was not blameless in some bad habits that had set in - which during this period he was quick to hone in on and blame for all his problems. It was challenging.  Ultimately I had to learn to give him some space, bend over backwards to treat him as impeachable and perfect, and he had to learn to stop being so “dark” and try and reframe his life. The period lasted around three years and we got through it and things are back to normal and great again.  I have several friends whose husbands went through similar in their mid to late forties, and other than one, it did not involve grooming to cheat or cheating. [/quote]

Fascinating! I think mine is going through something like this, too. I’m not truly worried - I like to see him change and evolve, even if it’s temporarily away from my direction. I’ve had my own few years of midlife anxiety/turmoil and I’m grateful he’s been there for me through it. For my DH, this period has meant detachment from work, new hobbies, the classic sports car (ugh), some general grouchiness. He’s around plenty and I don’t see him cheating, but even if he did somehow, we’d be ok. I’m learning to just go with this phase, give him lots of space, and trust that it won’t be forever.[/quote]

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