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[quote=Anonymous]My estranged father committed suicide 30 years ago when I was in college. I say “he died in a car accident”. Only my mother (who was abused by him when they were married) and my 2 siblings know.

I am severely depressed. I am so tired, have zero friends, and no hobbies. I am on anti depressant but stopped therapy when we moved during Covid (because it wasn’t really working). I am coping by distracting myself with Netflix and podcasts. My DH is so caught up in his career that he doesnt seem to notice. Or he thinks I’m lazy. I am fake and mask it well enough.

Although I don’t have a reason to want to live,  I know I will never harm myself; because I don’t want to do that to my kids - high school junior and college freshman. I don’t know what I’m going to do when my youngest graduates next year. We are very well off  7 figure HHI but “money doesnt buy happiness”. I think my DH deserves someone better - happier and more active for the retirement years. I sometimes don’t want to try.

My 2 secrets are probably related. [/quote]

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