Reply to Teenage Drinking - A hard no? Or can this be done responsibly?

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Reply to "Teenage Drinking - A hard no? Or can this be done responsibly?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many clueless and judgemental replies as usual. I love the hard no. I have a very open relationship with my kids and I know they drink and punishing them and prohibiting does not work. My kids have lots of friends who get black out drunk and their parents have no idea. So get off your high horse and if you’re going to reply do it thoughtfully, without judgement and with some compassion. My child came home extremely drunk a handful of times in high school and while it was very upsetting to me I am now glad she did it while under my roof and with her close friends who would not take advantage of her. This is how she learned her limit. She is now a junior in college and a very responsible drinker. Unlike  many of her friends who had no freedom in high school and had to sneak around. To the OP you are  getting your daughter professional help which is great. And I think the fact that she reached out to you for help is a great sign. My feeling is she has to learn to be in the world and to navigate social settings with alcohol. I don’t think forbidding her to be social is beneficial to her now or in the long run. Over time, she will learn if she can drink in moderation but in any case she needs and sounds like wants a social like. The downside to not allowing that will prob be worse for her mental health. [/quote]

I have a very open relationship with my DS on every subject under the sun. IF he drank, he would end up telling me. He knows I wouldnt be happy but I also wouldnt kill him (unless he did something stupid like get into a car with someone else who had been drinking). That being said, having a hard no on drinking/vaping/drugs does not mean he has no freedom and the fact that you equate the two is weird. There is a difference between freedom/trust with being unsafe/dangerous. From my experience, teens can't just drink one drink when they are altogether in a situation where they actually found a way to get alcohol. They need to drink it all, drink it fast and get rid of the evidence.

Signed, teen who drank way too much in high school and went to tons of parties where drinking in excess took place and is damn lucky nothing happened to them. [/quote]

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