Reply to Teenage Drinking - A hard no? Or can this be done responsibly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Decide what's important to you, [b]knowing that parties with drinks available are pretty much the norm in high school[/b]. I appreciate the "hard no" family's position, but you need to make peace with yourself that you are asking your kid to break rules/sneak around/do unsafe things so they don't get in trouble.  We decided safety was most important to us.  My 16yo ds is the sporty crowd and there are parties, I don't know if parents know drinks circulating or not. He has gotten the messaging (over and over again) that any mix of drinking/driving is a violation of trust so profound that his freedoms will be curtailed immediately, but that he will not get in trouble for calling us at any time for a ride home.  I think a lot of parents say that, but you've gotta mean it. So if he's going out we ask where, we talk about whether he's driving and what alterative plan is if not, if there is a designated driver (in his peer group there often is).[/quote]

This part really isn't just true.  It's the norm with the kids who are doing it!  That's for sure.  Most kids are not doing this.  I just think this kind of thinking really normalizes something that is not at all normal and statistics bear this out.  I also think parents get very caught up thinking it will somehow ruin their child's social life if they message hard no on drinking.  It really won't.

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/data/sites/data/files/assets/images/fcys%20fact%20sheet%20-%20alcohol%2021.pdf

76 percent of students report never using alcohol in their lifetime.[/quote]

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