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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
NP. Please forgive me if I missed this earlier in one of your posts, OP, but have you had any therapy? Ongoing therapy? You are an abuse victim twice over, one perpetrator was your own brother (adding an especially horrific aspect) and your mother sounds emotionally abusive. You were right to end contact. But I hope you got, or will get, therapy, so you can process all this. It can be tough to find a therapist right now, because many are booked solid since the pandemic, but please try. Start with ones on your health insurance list of covered therapists and go from there.

A therapist can also help you sort through your intense feelings about wanting to call your mother out on the abuse and can talk with you about whether to do that at all, or how to process things so you can let go of craving that kind of interaction.

I note that your DH has said things like, what if you need to be a contact person if your mother gets ill etc.. He may mean well, but he needs to be 100 percent supportive of your choice to cut her out entirely and completely. If you feel he's pushing you to get back in touch, please, tell him that you need unequivocal support from him of all people. This is another area where seeing a therapist could help -- the therapist, rather than your DH, can be your sounding board. I wish you the best. [/quote]

Thanks for this kind message. Yes I've been in therapy since I was 19. I've been lucky to work with some great therapists. Two long term who have helped and seen me through a lot. I should probably check back in to deal with the aftermath of cutting it off with my mom. even a handful of sessions. [/quote]

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