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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a Western woman who married a south Asian man, I suspect that these marriages are as successful as love marriages, although on the show they seem to be dating longer (and breaking up) more than one would for an arranged marriage.

When I went to India and visited my in laws, no one was divorced although I feel that 2 couples should have been. In one case, I suspect the husband is a pedophile. But that's just a gut feeling from watching him cuddle and run his fingers through his niece's hair. His wife and daughter give the impression of being utterly miserable. His daughter does not maintain herself, looking disheveled with uncombed hair. It's heartbreaking. [/quote]

The concept of arranged marriage has gotten blurred even in India (at least in cities). It’s more dating but with the explicit purpose of getting married. So, you would openly have the conversation of kids, ideas on money, work life balance etc on date 1. If not aligned, you wouldn’t move forward. In a “love” relationship here, you wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing those topics up so soon because you would look crazy. But maybe even that’s changing with online dating, I don’t know too much about that.

On the flip side, decades ago, most arranged marriages were a family affair. If there were issues in the marriage, the families would step in to help. With the new ways of doing arranged marriages, the families don’t have those connections and it’s more like a marriage anywhere else.

The stigma against divorce is getting better (especially with more educated women) but it’s still there. In my very traditional family, a woman with an alcoholic spouse got divorced and no one talks badly about her. I know some families where even that would not be permitted.  Getting divorced just because you drifted apart or something would never fly.

I imagine arranged marriages today are happier than 20 or 50 years ago when divorce was never an option, even if there was abuse or neglect. But then, where in the world did women truly have freedom decades ago? Women here in the 50s didn’t either. Even in the 70s it was really stigmatized. India may be 20 years behind in terms of being open to divorce.  [/quote]

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